Friday, February 24, 2012

Shared Child Care Responsibilities

You know, I've pretty much realized that FireMan is not going to take care of FireGirl on any sort of regular basis.

Oh, sure, maybe once a month he drops her off at preschool, and maybe once every couple of weeks he'll get her dressed in the morning, or the other rare gesture (all of which he apparently deserves extra recognition & gratitude for), but as for actually sharing the parental duties... nope.

I get it.

It's one of the reasons that, as much as I want another child, I question whether or not I want another child with him. I know he hates when I use this phrase, but more often than not, when it comes to parenting, I feel like a single mom.

Whatever, right? I can't change him, this is my life, I deal with it.

What I am not dealing well with right now, is his comments.

Like the other night, when FireGirl was having a hard time going to bed, and it took me an hour-and-a-half to get her down, and he says "I know, it's been really hard"

I mean, really dumbshit? Really?!? You have the nerve to say that to me? As you sit there, eating the ice cream I brought you from the kitchen, and play computer games for an hour-and-a-half while your wife repeatedly gets up & tends to your distraught child, you never once volunteered to get up, help, or so much as, oh, I don't know, God forbid tell me how good I'm doing, how great I am with her, offer any kind of encouraging word... you can't even do that teeny tiny bit to encourage me while I'm struggling with this, and you have the nerve to make comments as if it's our struggle?


And then tonight, you're at the firehouse, and I apologize to you for the multiple interruptions because FireGirl is again irritable and whiny, and I say that I'm frustrated because I can't get anything done, and you say "just part of having a kid".

Yea... for me! For you, what? Having to listen to me mention my struggle once in a while? Yeah... that must be tough, huh?

It's bad enough that I feel like I'm in this alone, but for you to make comments as if you're in it with me, when you're so clearly not?

Oh, grrrrrr!

You wanna talk like a dad, then act like one first. You wanna talk like you're co-parenting this child with me, then start parenting her first. Really doing it. Really sharing in the responsibility of raising a child, not just taking her on a fun daddy day once in a blue moon and calling it your share. No, really being there and taking on some of the regular responsibilities. Then... we'll talk.

Until then, just do what you do best: sit there surfing the net while keeping your damn mouth shut!

1 comment:

  1. Oh my gosh, this makes me so mad! Where do men think they get off being able to behave like this? I can just hear it now: "You didn't ask me for help, so I thought you were fine."

    Grrrrrr. Dense, dense men.