Friday, February 17, 2012


A few hours after my last post, I sent FireMan an email.

I just told him how much I missed him, how much I missed us, how I missed how we used to be, how I didn't know how we got to where we were now, but I so desperately wanted to get back to where we were.

I told him how even with everything that has gone on, I still choose him over everyone else, it's him I want to be with, talk to, share my life with.

Late that night, he called to tell me he got it. All he said was "I love you too", just like we always say it.

I know he's just not a very expressive person, and many men aren't, but... well, sometimes I don't know what he's thinking. Okay, most of the time.

I'm glad I wrote it. I'm glad I told him how I felt about him, about us.

But I'm not gonna lie, sometimes it's hard to put yourself out there time after time, pour your heart out over and over again, and get very little, if anything, in return.

1 comment:

  1. I was able to go and read some posts from here. Sorry you guys are having such problems. I will pray for your relationship and for you both to stay true for your daughter. What I mean by that is, try to always do what you can for the relationship or lack of, for your daughter. That is all. I was married very young at age 19 and had my first son at 20 and then my first daughter at 22 and we divorced when my daughter was just 3. I maintained a "friendship" the best I could with their dad, for them. I didn't want them to feel the pressure if our divorce and things going on. I did get married again and have 2 more kids. It will be 9 years married and 14 yrs together, things are nice. I don't mean you will do this, I am just telling you how it was for me. When I was married the first time, I was not happy. Period. So I was happy the marriage ended but sad for my kids, I mean it wasn't their fault we split and they didn't ask to be born into a marriage that was gonna fail, right? So I always put them first and maintained good relations with their dad. Not at first, but after all was said and done we get along, for the kids.