A few hours after my last post, I sent FireMan an email.
I just told him how much I missed him, how much I missed us, how I missed how we used to be, how I didn't know how we got to where we were now, but I so desperately wanted to get back to where we were.
I told him how even with everything that has gone on, I still choose him over everyone else, it's him I want to be with, talk to, share my life with.
Late that night, he called to tell me he got it. All he said was "I love you too", just like we always say it.
I know he's just not a very expressive person, and many men aren't, but... well, sometimes I don't know what he's thinking. Okay, most of the time.
I'm glad I wrote it. I'm glad I told him how I felt about him, about us.
But I'm not gonna lie, sometimes it's hard to put yourself out there time after time, pour your heart out over and over again, and get very little, if anything, in return.