Monday, April 2, 2012

I emailed my husband. Is that weird?

I knew I wanted needed to confront FireMan about the lies I'd uncovered, but I didn't know what to say or how to say it. I was afraid if I said anything, it would lead into a huge argument.

I didn't know what to do.

So I wrote an email. I revised it. I waited a day. I revised it again. Then I sent it.

I told him I was sad. I told him what I had discovered, that I knew he had been lying to me. I told him about a few other things that he has done that have hurt me and that I don't understand for and he won't explain to me. And I ended by explaining how I want so desperately to trust him, that I used to trust him, but that he has shattered that trust so many times I can't anymore.

And I told him I don't know how to live with someone I don't trust.

I'm pretty sure he read it. But he hasn't said one word about it. Not even to tell me he got it.

Five days later.

I don't know what to think about that.

Seems like I say that a lot, doesn't it?

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