Revelation

I had a revelation of sorts this morning.

Not a huge, in-your-face, sudden, startling sort of revelation.

More of a God-has-been-working-on-this-for-a-while, He's-been-preparing-your-heart-for-this, and now it's time to reveal the message sort of revelation.

So... are you ready for it? Waiting on baited breath?

If I have the expectation that FireMan should improve as my husband, then I have a responsibility to continue to strive to be a better wife for him.

That's big, isn't it?

The truth is that I always have the responsibility to continue in my efforts to improve as a wife, whether or not I have any expectations of him.

And I have been lax in this area.

I did try, was trying, for more than a year. Busted my butt working on my wifely-ness.

Then I got hurt & resentful that I wasn't getting the same effort from him. Indeed sometimes it seemed like I wasn't getting any effort from him. And I stopped trying to improve as a wife.

And that's not right, or good.

There is always room for improvement, room for growth. There is no such thing as perfection in our human selves.

And so this will become my focus. Again.

Perhaps not with the same fervor as before, but still. There is plenty of room for me to be a better wife.