During our conversation, he decided he needed sleep more than he needed to talk.
Of course, now my emotions are "on", so even though I am exhausted, my mind is awake.
I lie in bed next to him and talk for who-knows-how-long. I remind him of everything we've come thru, how far we've come, how bad it was. I remind him how close we came to not making it to five years.
I really think he was awake. At least during part of it. I mean, how many people scratch their heads in their sleep?
But he had no reaction to me at all. None. Once again, here I am, pouring my heart out and I get absolutely nothing in return. No reaction at all. None.
I have no idea if he were angry with me, if anything I said upset him in any way, or if, as it seems, he just doesn't care.
I am so tired of expressing - in so many ways - how much I love him & care for him and care about our marriage & family, and getting no such expression in return.
It's like he shuts me out.
I am so desperate to reconnect with my husband. To connect with him. To re-connect.
And he seems desperate to do anything but.
I am hurt. Again. Still. Today. More than 12 hours later. Hurt.
It's funny how the people you love the most, have the greatest ability to hurt you.
In fact, they don't even have to do anything. They just have to do nothing.