Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Anniversary Spat - part 2

After I got passed the disappointment that we couldn't take our big trip, I realized we could still work in a weekend trip. Maybe five days, tops. Two weekend days, and no more than three work days. And I could schedule it so he would only miss one shift day.

This could work. He agreed.

I started researching different locations that were within a nine hour drive of our house. If we're only going to be gone for five days (max), I don't want to spend more than a day driving, each way.

This could still be a good trip, right?

Then, last night. I asked him again where he wants to go. Lately I've been less than thrilled with his lack of enthusiasm.

He said he doesn't know. He doesn't really want to drive anywhere.

I remind him we can't afford to fly (anymore).

He says "why do we have to do a trip anyway?".

Insert shock face. Hurt, confused shock face.

My husband loves to travel. For no reason at all. For any reason at all. Why in the world doesn't he want to take a trip for our annivesary? For our fifth anniversary? We've already figured out we can still afford it, if it's smaller. I've worked out the schedule. Basically I'm doing all the work, I just want his input.

And his input is that he doesn't want to do a trip?!? I don't understand. So I ask him.

He doesn't think our anniversary is a big deal.

You thought I had a hurt, confused, shock face before...

He said maybe our 10th would be a big deal, but not our 5th. This is nothing.

I remind him that he didn't make it to 5 years in his first marriage. That he's never had a relationship last for 5 years, let alone a marriage. That I've never had a relationship make it to 5 years, let alone a marriage.

He says he knows, but doesn't see the big deal.

I concede... sort of.

I tell him maybe if we were just another couple, that had an extended honeymoon phase, or even a "normal" first few years of marriage, maybe this wouldn't be so big... but we didn't.

We had a very rough few years in there, many times when I didn't know if we'd made it, but we did! We made it! Isn't that worth celebrating?!?

Apparently not.

He really, truly, honestly doesn't seem to see the big deal. He's thinking maybe we could go out to dinner or something. You know, like we do all the time. Probably to the same place.

Real special, hubs.

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