Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Mini-Vent: Housework Related

You know... I have accepted the fact that FireMan does not help with housework. I get it. It took me forever, and I think it's not fair, but he expects me to maintain the household as if I were a stay-at-home-mom, while still working full time outside the home.

Well, I've explained to him repeatedly that it's physically impossible, and if he wants the house kept to those expectations, then he needs a better idea.

So... basically we both live in a state of disappointment. But I think we've both come to terms with that.

I should say he has helped out more in the past few months than he has in... three years. Cooked dinner on several occasions when he was off & I was working. Even scrubbed the bathtub twice. And mopped the floors once. And he does keep the lawn mowed (it really does look awesome, vastly improved from when we moved in to this house last Autumn).

But on a day-to-day basis, he does zero.

Fine. Just don't complain, right?

Except... it's not just that he doesn't help. In a lot of ways... he makes my job more difficult.

I don't think he means to. It's just that... he doesn't think. It's almost like having another child in the house.

Oh, you want an example, do you?

Okay. The other day. I had an early appointment before work, and was meeting a friend after work. I was gone from 7:30am till 11pm. So he was home all day. His job was to take FireGirl to preschool & pick her up at the end of the day. So... home alone all day, right?

*important note for later* before I left I told him I was running a bit late and he would need to pack FireGirl's diaper bag himself. And make sure you grab a clean shirt to put in there for her spare outfit, as I had to use the one that was in there the day before. Love you, bye.

I come home last night to find FireGirl's breakfast, what was left of it, on the dining room table. Like, actually on the table. He didn't even put it on dishes. And, you know, he left food out. All day. And night.

And then FireMan complained that there were no diapers or training pants in her diaper bag.

Ummm... see note above.
I asked him if he gave FireGirl a bath. Nope. He said it didn't even cross his mind. So... she played at the playground at preschool, including the sandbox, he took her to the playground after picking her up, they played with the dogs at home... and giving her a bath never crossed his mind. Oh, and (this is where it makes my life more difficult) by what I found in her hair when I tried to brush it this morning, at some point she got food in her hair. And it never crossed his mind.

It would have also made my life more difficult in that I would have liked to have given her a bath before we left, but being in the time crunch that we are every weekday morning... that wasn't gonna happen.

So then I go to pick out her clothes for the day. From her dresser. Where tops are kept neatly folded in stacks in the top drawer, and bottoms neatly folded in stacks in the drawer underneath that one.

I opened the top drawer... and just sighed. I really think he stuck his hand in till it reached the bottom of the drawer and then moved it to and fro from one end of the drawer to the other, until every shirt was unfolded and the drawer was just a pile of clean laundry, in no particular order.
Ditto with the bottoms drawer, except it also now has two shirts in it (??).

So now tonight, instead of just folding the clean laundry that I get out of the dryer, I also am blessed with the opportunity to re-fold and re-stack two drawers of clothing that had already been neatly folded and put away.

So finally I go looking for her diaper bag. I can't find it. Anywhere. I check all the usual places. Then I search the living room, kitchen, and dining room. Hallway. Even the fireplace room and FireGirl's bedroom. Nothing.

I finally call FireMan. He says he doesn't know where it is, it should be there.


Then he says that maybe he left it in the car.

So I go out to the car, and sure enough there's her diaper bag, her bedding (sent home from preschool so I can wash it), and yesterday's mail. Just never brought in.

When I check the diaper bag, sure enough, there are no diapers or training pants. And no clean shirt (see note above). I re-stock it. Which is a little thing, sure, but should have been done the day before.

I guess that's my point. They're all little things. None of them are huge. But let's face it, I'm not the best housekeeper in the world to begin with. Plus I now have a toddler making messes throughout the house. And I work full-time outside the home.

But does the other adult living in the house really have to make it harder on me? Create more messes, mess up what I've already fixed, make my life even harder?

If you're not gonna help that much, fine. But don't make it harder for me. I'm struggling enough, you know?

Okay. Mini-vent over. After one last...

{{ sigh }}

1 comment:

  1. I feel your pain, I did most of the housework myself for many years. As the kids got older, they became more responsible for cleaning their rooms and even started doing their own laundry eventually - that helped a lot! I still do the majority (I'm still unemployed, not much else to do), but he does so much more than he used to...took lots of years of training lol. Actually, I think he caught on more when I took a vacation without him, he realized how much I did - I highly recommend it!