Until recently. I mean, our relationship is still way better than where we were last year. Or heck, earlier this year even.
But there have been lots of little ickies lately, and I just feel like Satan is attacking our marriage.
Probably because we've been doing so well. And because in a few weeks we're taking a step to strengthen our marriage even further, by starting off our anniversary vacation with a 3-day marriage conference.
So I just feel like all these little things that are arising all of a sudden are just Satan's way of trying to drive a wedge between us, you know?
Like, all of a sudden there are these little things that have me questioning FireMan's trust again.
Just little things, but dozens of them.
And yes, all of the ones I've actually checked out have, well.. checked out. Just fine. No lies, no misleading, nothing.
Well, unless he's just really good at lying, which I know from experience he is.
But see, there it is again. That doubt creeping in. These little inconsistencies seem to be popping up out of nowhere, and because we're still in a building-trust phase, my mind goes crazy when they happen.
And then we started arguing about money.
Which is crazy, because we actually have very similar philosophies about how to handle money. So we never argue about it. But the past two weeks? Arguing.
It's just stupid.
But these little things keep happening.
And it was in talking to my sister about her marriage, and I began to counsel her that Satan was attacking her marriage, and that she needed to just pray and hold fast... it was then that I realized that I needed the same advice, that Satan was attacking my marriage as well.
Since that realization I've tried very hard to resist the doubts that creep in, to ignore them, to remind myself that Satan is just setting these things up to feed on my weakness and drive that wedge.
I've tried very hard not to argue with my husband, even when I feel that he is being argumentative. When it seems that anything I say turns into arguing? I stop talking. I stop trying to get my point across. I stop trying to get him to calm down. Not to give him the cold shoulder, but to let the silence diffuse the situation.
"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers... Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgive you."
-- Ephesians 4:29,31-32
-- Ephesians 4:29,31-32
And I need to get on my knees about this more. I really do.
"Pray without ceasing."-- I Thessalonians 5:17
I have gotten lax in my prayer life.
And I ask you, my readers, to pray for us as well. We have come so very far from where we were just a few months ago, and now we need some strengthening to keep us here.