Thursday, May 12, 2011

Update, of sorts

It's been so long since I've posted, I guess I should start with an update.

We're doing better. Mostly.

I suppose.

There are definitely still issues for both of us to work on. But things are vastly improved over where we were last year at this time.

Personally, I can see where my efforts be a better wife, to be a better person have been successful. I mean, I can literally see a difference in who I was 12 -14 months ago to who I am now. I am definitely a better wife to FireMan than I was last year.

I have learned (an am learning!) what his needs & wants are, and have really worked at fulfilling those for him. It hasn't always been easy, and at times it seems to go unnoticed, but the overall harmony in our relationship is better, so there is proof that it does work.

I have done a lot of homework, read a lot of resources, said a lot of prayers. It has definitely not been an easy road.

And I know I'm still not perfect. In fact, I still have far to go. While I have made leaps & bounds in some areas, I am still woefully lacking in others. And for some, I struggle with how to make more progress. I'm stuck.

But I digress... this was supposed to be an update. And to update you, is to say that I've improved greatly in my wifely role.

Currently my greatest struggle is with... frustration (?)... satisfaction(?)... gratitude(?)... I struggle to define what I am feeling.

It seems that I am still the one putting an abundance of effort into making our marriage work, while he coasts along, throwing in a teaspoon every once in a while. It is too lopsided. And I am struggling with the unevenness of our efforts. I will go into detail in future posts, but for now, that is the overall update.

Thanks for checking in!

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